Native with potty mouth, please brag your skills here

Shut the front door!

Oh shoot! Dang! Fudge!

Oh sugar

“Flippin”, as in its flippin cold today eh? And also Jeez!

Buddy from the movie Elf is full of these. My favorite: Son of a Bee Sting!

"Fudge muffins!" (Can't remember where I heard it) "Oh sugar!" (I've heard teachers use this in class) "Holy schnike!" (Chris Farley quote) "Gosh dang it!" (King of the Hill - "Gosh dang it, Bobby!") "You're such a smart Aleck" (instead of "smartass") "Suck my ding dong!" (Self explanatory lol) "What on God's green earth?!" (Wtf)

Likely regional and situational, but where I'm from people don't typically use minced oaths. If someone used any of the three examples you listed as a serious substitute for an actual swear word it would be a bit awkward. Instead, where I'm from at least, it would be far more natural to either omit but imply the word (like saying "god-" instead of "god damnit/god fucking damnit," and" what the-" instead of "what the hell/fuck.") or, if that would be rude, just express the idea without the swear word (like saying "it wasn't exactly ideal" instead of "it fucking sucked/it was hellish" and "i wouldn't describe them as pleasant" instead of "they were a bitch." this is always sort of tongue-in-cheek, like you are implying the swear word but refraining to be polite.) That being said, there are a few minced oath-adjacent things that get regular use I can think of. "Screw" in place of "fuck" when it is directed at yourself is common where I'm from. "Boned" can also work in that context.

Jiminy christmas / jiminy cricket For Pete's sake Son of a gun Dad gummit Crud Holy cow

“Leaping lizards!” is one of my favorite to throw in from time to time. It’s used as an expression of surprise and a callback to the film/broadway play “Annie”. (look up the 1982 film clip of how she pronounced it—it’s pretty fun).

“Cheese and crackers”, it’s an oldie but a goodie 🥺 my grandmother also used to say “horse feathers” lol

Fiddlesticks! Mostly these are used humorously and help to defuse some of the anger of the situation.

I personally use “gosh-diddley-darn-it” a lot instead of gosh darn it. I also use “shoot fire” instead of shit.

"Got down and sat on a bench" is one, but I do swear real swears a bit more now that my daughter is grown, married, and moved away.

Gosh darnly fiddlesticks !!!

One of my favorites is God bless America as a substitute for goddammit. Usually you get the first part out before you can stop yourself, so it sounds like GOD!...bless America Another one, not very common but it's so expressive: crudballs

I think the most common ones in American English that children are allowed to use or that people use with children (these are also widely acceptable in a business or more “proper” setting): damn/damn it/dammit: “darn”/“darn it”; hell: “heck”; shit!: “shoot!” or, “sugar!” shit as noun, “what is this shit?”; “stuff,”/“nonsense” “fuck!”: “fudge!” “fucking”: “hecking” For those who consider “Jesus!” improper, “Jeeze” is a kid friendly alternative Parents may object to their children using even the “minced” versions of “fucking” which are: “flipping,” “fricking,” or “frigging.” And “BS” for “bullshit” is ok in most settings but probably not for children Some international notes: The C word is considered extremely vulgar in the US. Even using a euphemism for it it pretty rude (“See you next Tuesday” ie “C U Next Tuesday”). “Bloody” is not considered “swearing” here. Tolerance for “Fuck” varies widely. In NY/NJ it can be commonly included in every other sentence, where in other regions it may be referred to as “The F-bomb”

Mother trucker

“Oh balls” instead of bollocks, although balls might still be considered rude

“Fuck me” as an alternative to goddamnit or other exclamations, like when something bad happens or you make a mistake (e.g. when you stub your toe or spill a drink). Importantly, you need to put the emphasis on the word “fuck” to get the right effect. If you put the emphasis on “me” it will sound like you’re asking someone to f*ck you, which is different.

https://youtu.be/Nfh92hKLO6c?si=rxytQB1KyY_Ohzft

Bloomin' heck.

Son of a biscuit Fudge Mother pheasant plucker (this might be exclusive to theater nerds) Shoot Gorram (pronounced like go-ram)

If you have a bad mouth, you have to show it. Why show off your skills?

Sugar Honey Iced Tea! S-H-I-T

You would enjoy Tim Hawkins' comedy bit about alternative curse words. Although some of these like "Bolshevik" aren't used normally, it's still hilarious. https://youtu.be/aHGbKuZzq3E?si=UPJ8iXxq6EcsYyEs

Gee Whillickers!/Gee Whiz!/Golly Gosh Darn (ironically though)

Been waiting for this. So keep in mind, this is coming from a Canadian university student; the general rule is the older you are the earlier in the scale it becomes unaceptable language, but there's two specific rules that everyone basically follows. You don't swear in professional settings (if people are wearing suits its probably not ok) and you *never* swear in front of children, which makes sense given how much of the words reference sex but also because children have no ability to moderate themselves and if your little jimmy starts swearing in front of a kid who's parent is extremely no swearing there will be hell to pay (meaning they are going to be extremely angry with you) I'll be starting from least severe to most. you've mentioned the replacement words so I'll skip over them, but while I think *some* really old and uptight folks *might* get offended over "dang it", they are vanishingly rare and it is perfectly acceptable in any social situation. So a word for swearing in english is "cursing" because a few of them are straight up magic. Theologically speaking something is "**damn**ed" when God sends them to **hell**. However because of how things have gone culturally, these are by far the least likely to cause offense. You might say "damn" or "damn it" when you miss the garbage bin with a paper ball or something like that. "what the hell" is a way to indicate your confusion or disbelief. And as with most english swear words, they can be used as intensifiers. "That was a good time" can become "that was one hell of a good time" or "this food was good" can become "this food is damn good". Then next level up is the theme that goes for most swear words, which is bodily functions. Keep in mind that basically any of these have a literal meaning and then how they are used. **Shit** is the most common, it means poop but is used for... so so many things in so many different ways [this video does a good job of going through them](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=igh9iO5BxBo) but basically it can be used to replace any noun, **Piss** is urine, but when someone is "pissed off" they are angry, and if you tell someone to "piss off" then you are rudely telling them to leave, I've also heard "piss up" to refer to a party where people are drinking. **Cock** is penis some and can mean someone who's loud and annoying, and a "cock up" is a mess up. **Prick** is one of my favorites due to the wordplay. It means "penis" as well but to be "pricked" by something is being stabbed with something very small, think a thorn or a sewing needle. So when you call someone a "prick" you aren't just calling them a penis, but a small penis. The way its actually used is someone who's being kinda bad. Rude, mean, inconsiderate things like this. **Ass** means butt, also means donkey and a lot of the use is kinda more based on that, if someone "makes an ass of themselves" it means they have embarrassed themselves in a way that is extremely noticeable. If someone is "an ass" they are loud, and annoying, although some phrases are in reference to butts, "the ass end of nowhere" means somewhere far from everything else. Also its an intensifier "that's some good ass food" is... well good food. **Screw** means sex although obviously it can also mean the piece of construction hardware, if you use the word as a noun, its safe. If you use it as a verb involving people its the curse, if you use it as a verb involving like... furniture or objects then its safe (means connecting something with a screw "Hey can you screw that down" refering to like a piece of wood) also a screw up is a mess up, getting screwed is getting cheated. Honestly it shares alot with the next one Then there's "the strongest one" which if I'm honest just isn't that bad anymore, and thats "**fuck**", and like shit is one of the main 2 and its used in so many permutations. You can say it on its own in the same way you can say "damn" just to kinda indicate displeasure, pain, bad vibes generally, although "fuck it" means you are giving up on something and don't care anymore. Fuck off is the same as piss off (go away but rude), a "fuck up" is the same as cock up, and as with most of these its also an intensifier. "what is going on" vs "what the fuck is going on. "Fuck me" is similar to just "fuck" but it has the inflection of "I am the victim of misfortune". To have it mean what it "actually" means (which is sex) you have to get very specific like "I want you to fuck me" would have it actually mean sex, but if you change it even slightly, it can end up as metaphorical. "I got fucked" can mean I had sex, it can also mean you got cheated or a bad deal". Playing into cultural hang-ups around being the top or bottom in sex. Then this is where it gets a bit dicey, which is the words referring to women, because alot of time they are just misogynistic. Whore is literally a sex worker, but also is a really nasty way of describing a woman who has sex, "bitch" means a female dog (not a good start) but the best way I can put it is it also means "someone who gets fucked", whether it means a woman or someone who is cowardly or knowingly accepting a bad deal. The only one that varies really wildly is "cunt" which means vagina. It depends on where you live, in australia, its on the same level as "dick" and has no misogynistic connotation, just meaning "person" but you ask my mum (mid 50's, and basically fine with everything fuck and below) and she has a real hatred for it, in a way that I genuinely cannot explain because I've not seen the way its been used that she has, and tbh I believe her that it has had a really misogynistic bent in the past. But with the internet I think people my age see it more in the australian way. Then finally is the stuff that's just straight up taboo. Everything fuck and below, you say it and its like burping. Its kinda crude, maybe a bit overly familiar (like you are way to comfortable to not care how you look in front of me, good if you are a friend, strange if you are a coworker in an office). The stuff with women can be nasty but its not so bad that I only kinda feel uncomfortable writing it down. Then we have slurs. Slurs are insults towards some unchangeable part of who someone is, but which insults are just insults and which are slurs is entirely culturally specific. Calling a British person a "brit" is perfectly fine, maybe a bit casual but its fine. Doing the same to a Japanese person (first 3 letters) is a slur in American and Canadian English because of our honestly racist past towards the Japanese people that have lived on the west coast. And no I'm not providing a list, partially because of how taboo it is, but also because there are so god damn many of them. The best way I can put it is that slurs stink of blood. Its an indicator that you hate some group so much that you are willing to dehumanize them in this way, and wouldn't have a problem doing violence. Its a similar level of waving a nazi flag, yeah sure its not violent in and of itself but it shows you kinda want it to happen. The one and only thing that makes it kind of acceptable is it is generally seen as ok to use a slur of a group you belong to, probably has something to do with the cultural value placed on self deprecation, or how its not seen as an attack across groups since its one you are a part of. but if not, slurs are what we call "fighting words", you say one there's a good chance you're going to start a fight and honestly deserve it. You can look them up online if you are curious or scared of accidentally saying one, but if I'm honest the vast majority of them are archaic and strange, older words that just don't come up outside of history books or places where people are being racist.

If I find myself about to say "son of a bitch" in polite company I'll say "son of a... mother"

I knew I was turning into my father when I started saying "dad-gummit".

Corksucker is a family favorite.

Last November I personally witnessed a native British English speaker say, "oh, fiddlesticks!" when she dropped something by accident. I still think about it sometimes.

What the flip!! Are you freaking kidding me?

It's technically rude but in NZ we say "bugger" a lot. To the point where a famous TV ad made light of it. (Search "NZ Toyota Bugger ad " and you'll find it). We don't use it in the literal sense, it's used just as a general curse.  Bugger that, bugger me, bugger off, ooh bugger, etc

Don't know if it counts but my favourite thing about the Irish is their use of the word "feck/feckin'" instead of "fuck/fucking" (generally where "fucking" is used as an adjective).

My grandma used to exclaim “cheese and crackers!” Instead of the widely common “Jesus Christ!” (She’s very religious)

My sisters and I are quite fond of "what the freak" said in a silly voice

Feck. Fudging barsteward.  Funking winker.  Twunt. ( more of a portmanteau)  Oh for c.....rying out loud!  L Actual minced oaths : Flipping,  Fricking, blooming, fudge, sugar, shoot,  See you next Tuesday Cor Blimey (god blind me)  Bonus French minced oath: Sacre bleu (Sacre dieu)  Not actually a minced oath, but if you call someone a berk, you are actually calling them something very rude. It's rhyming slang. Berkshire hunt/ cunt

"That (freaking) stinks" ("That (fucking) sucks") "(gosh (freaking)) dang/darn it" ("(god (fucking)) damn it") "Dag nabbit / Drat" ("Dang/darn/damn it") "Screw you" ("Fuck you") "For Pete's/goodness' sake / For crying out loud" ("For god's/fuck's sake") "Son of a gun/buiscuit" ("Son of a bitch") "What the heck/what" ("What the hell/fuck") "Holy smokes/cow/moley" ("Holy hell/fuck") "Crap" ("Shit") "Shoot" ("Shit") "Fudge/Frick/Flip" ("Fuck") "a-hole" ("asshole") "Shut the front door" ("Shut the fuck/hell up")

Shiitake

Freaking or frigging instead of fucking Crap instead of shit I use those all the time in situations where I shouldn't swear.

My personal favorite that I use is: What the Frick Frack Snick Snack Chicken Shack

I like to say “aw, crumbs!” But honestly if you wanna sound like a native most of us curse like sailors these days.

Frak / frakking / fraked will be recognisable to sci fi fans who have watched the show Battlestar Galactica where it's the in universe equivalent of Fuck I use it all the time because it feels more natural than frick and pretty much anyone could figure out the meaning even if they never watched the show Note there is another word, fracking, which is a method of resource extraction.

“aw beans” is my fave

“flipping heck” and “oh sugar”

Son of a bisceater man

"See you next Tuesday" (C U Next Tuesday) (C.U.N.T) (Cunt)

“C U Next Tuesday” surely deserves a mention

Note that "brag" is an intransitive verb, and does not take an object. You may brag ***about*** your skills, but you cannot "brag your skills."

H-E-double-hockey-sticks (hell) is a silly one I remember from when I was a kid/preteen.

“Jesus H… fill in the blanks with funny shit” Jesus H Jon Benjamin Button!

I've heard ‘sugar’ and ‘fruitcake’ from many older women as replacements for shit and fuck, respectively. ‘Begob’ is a very old one for ‘by God’ but you won't really hear it any more. ‘Fiddlesticks’ instead of fuck. Although it's an unrelated word, many in Ireland will opt for ‘feck’ instead of ‘fuck’ as a much milder expletive (for me it's on the same level of severity as ‘crap’ or ‘damn’). Also there's ‘eff’ for fuck (as in saying the letter F) e.g. eff off, effing, etc.

Instead of fuck: heck, farts, darn Instead of shit: shitzu, crap

from the hitch hiker's guide to the galaxy:  *what the zarking photon* are you talking about, Ford?   my current person favourite, heard from Dom Nicholls on a Ukraine the latest podcast a while back.   he minced an entire rant from prigozhin for reciting on air:   now listen here you bunch of bar...stools, where the melon-farming fink is the melon-farming stuff that you promised me .... etc etc

In the southern US if someone says "I'll be praying for you" to a person, it's akin to "go fuck yourself motherfucker"

Sweet baby kittens in a kayak is my favorite when I need to keep it clean

One of my go-to’s: “What the hezzy?!” Instead of “what the hell?!”

I'm not sure it would be considered a minced oath since the word is still a bit impolite, but more modest people will sometimes sub-in "crap" for "shit" here. Aw crap, bullcrap, crappy.  "Jeeze" for "jesus" and "darn" for "damn" are also common. Kids will often say "heck" instead of "hell", or (my favourite) "H-E-double-hockey-sticks". There are also lots of variations on the "holy ---" exclamation instead if swearing, like "holy smokes", "holy mackerel", and "holy murphy". 

“[aww jeez](https://y.yarn.co/a0a6408d-9719-4a1a-8606-67eaa57d2f22_text.gif)” I started using this bc someone said i used oh my god too much and now it’s apart of my normal vocabulary

Ask Ned Flanders

Holy moly (holy shit stand in) and holy moly guacamole (silly version). Fudge (instead of fuck). Shoot (instead of shit). Crap (shit) and crap-ola (silly version, but usually used more like crap with extra crap). Shii or shiid (used I stead of shit but it might push the boundaries a bit much). Sugar honey iced tea (rarely used, but sometimes. Silly version of shit, look at the first letter of each word for explanation). Da'g-nabit or dang na bit (stand in for damn it). Dang (damn). And others.

This is very regional for sure. A lot of the suggestions in this thread would never be used here in Australia. Some we do use: “Sugar”, “Shivers” or “Schweppes” for shit. “Crikey” for various swear words. Also, ‘damn’ and ‘bloody’ are like minced oaths here in that they sometimes replace fuck/fucking. Another old regional one is ‘blimey teddy.’ My mum says that a lot.

I say “geez Louise” and “dagnabbit” most frequently, like when I drop something. “You’ve gotta be kidding me” is more for when someone tells me something shocking.

"Why don't you ram it up your pim-hole, you fusking cloff prunker." ;) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s_osQvkeNRM

Cripes, dang it

"Jezum *Crow"* was one we used a lot when I was a kid. I've heard "For cryin' in a bucket" as a substitute, as well.

Jebus Christmas for when you stub your toe.